introduction

Hello Everyone.
introduction
I am 45 I have been in a relationship with my father from what I can remember to be about 40 years now.

still active and loving the life style.

Let's see if I understand you correctly, you're 45 now, and you've been involved with your dad for 40 years? WHAT? You were 5 years old when things got sexual!? Sorry, but that is pedophilia and is not acceptable on this website. Please go someplace else.

I am sorry you feel this way.  

I am no way condoning or promoting pedophilia in any way.  Was trying to find like minded individuals that had grown up involved in incestuous relationships.  no matter how long ago they started.  obviously most of the individuals on here started their relationships at an early age.

I have never and would not engage with any individual under age.

please delete my account if your site if you feel I am not a fit to tour discussion group.

I understand what you're saying, that YOU might personally not want to do anything with a child... but your father clearly did. While some incest relationships do start when people are underage, there is a whole world of difference between a similarly aged teen brother and sister mutually experimenting, and a parent who forces their prepubescent son or daughter into sexual activity. The former is underage sexual activity but is consensual (both are underage and neither has power over the other), the latter is child sexual abuse, and there is no way that a five year old can consent to anything like that. Kids of that age shouldn't even know what sex is, let alone be forced into doing it. Kids rely on their parents to look after them, to guide them, to provide boundaries and discipline so that they can develop into healthy and functional adults. What your father did was a violation of these principles. You may not be ready to face it right now, but you've been the victim of child sexual abuse. You're clearly consenting now because you're an adult, but when you were five, could you have said no? I doubt it, you wouldn't have wanted to disappoint him, your natural drive to make him proud of you would have meant you'd have done whatever he asked you to, even if it made you uncomfortable. A parent has a lot of authority over their young children, and your father abused that authority and the trust you placed in him. What he did was very wrong. This forum isn't the right place for abuse victims, we are a support group for consenting adults. You should look up some support networks for child abuse survivors, they will be able to help you far better than anyone here.