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abe2020
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 2:11
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Hi all,
I'm a 28 year old man who, despite my sincere wishes, never grew out of his teenage fantasies about his own mother. Due to unpredictable and changing circumstances of the past two years I live with her again after being on my own for a decade. While these new living arrangements are temporary in theory I'm looking to make them permanent by initiating a relationship with her, if I finally get the courage to divulge my true feelings to her that is. Looking to have my account upgraded, and to hopefully hear some words of encouragement after years of keeping these fantasies to myself.

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Unowen17
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 2:49
Welcome to Kindred Spirits, Abe. I’ve upgraded your account.

We’ll try to be encouraging. Smile

Stay safe,
UN

_________________
Every now and then, an ally can say a few words, the right words, and change someone’s life for the better.

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abe2020
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 2:53
Thank you so much for welcoming me here, it feels liberating to talk of my incestuous attraction to actual human beings!

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FamilyFriend
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 3:35
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Welcome.

My mom and I were in a consensual adult sexual relationship a long time ago.

I have a few questions.

Is your dad still in the picture? What is the age difference between you and your mom? You indicated that you have been harboring fantasies for a long time, are they primarily sexual or do you desire to be married to your mom? You say that you prefer that your living arrangements be made permanent. What were the conditions under which you left the household originally and have you been on good terms throughout these ten years? Have your feelings interfered with conventional relationships with non-related women? Would you like to have a child with her, if that’s physically possible?

In terms of encouragement, I’ll say that in my case the sexual relationship enabled my mom and I to communicate love that we didn’t seem to be able to express verbally. I was able to believe that my mom loved me unconditionally, whereas prior I had my doubts. It was intensely fulfilling while we were active. The early period, when I was 19 and we were touching but not engaged in intercourse, was confusing and a little frightening. Looking back, it’s probably because we didn’t talk about it. I was actively dating and did not see any kind of future with her. During the period of intense sexual activity, when I was between the ages of 22 and 25, I discovered that my mom had wanted another child after she had me and that changed how I viewed things. That is, I wished that I would have been able to give her that child but she was no longer able to have any.  I was still dating conventionally and sexually active with other partners. In comparison, those conventional sexual interactions paled against the experiences with my mom. If the world were different, if my dad and siblings didn’t exist, if my extended family wasn’t geographically very local, would we have stopped? “If” is a deeply depressing word. Eventually, it ended, and I’ve never been as close to a woman who wasn’t my mom.

You should treat her well, as you would treat her even in the case you weren’t interested in her romantically or sexually. Treat her well as her son, first. Be dependable, trustworthy, and as expressive of your love as you are capable of being. Be thankful for her as your mother and tell her so. Be able to keep her secrets. Do not be afraid to touch her. Compliment her on her appearance. Do the small things that any man would do for a woman he cares about. Women see and react to those things. As with any romantic relationship, you have to lay the groundwork before progressing into the bigger picture. Remember that she is getting used to you being there as you are in fitting in to her life, in closer proximity. You are going to have to relearn her signals. My mom had to practically pick up my hands and put them on her, I was so clueless.

I wish you the best.  In the case that a physical relationship is mutually beneficial, I hope you are able to make it happen.

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abe2020
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 4:08
Dad is not in the picture. Mom is 62 so the age gap is big, but I've always felt more comfortable talking to and interacting with mature ladies rather than women my age, so the age gap couldn't be more perfect to me. The fantasies used to be primarily sexual years ago but now my number one fantasy is being married to her regardless of the amount of sex we would have. The thought that we could be naughty with each other if we felt like it is sexy on its own, but more than anything I want to hold hands with her and I want us to view each other as life partners, which is more arousing than any sexual fantasy I could think of. I moved out ten years ago to study and have a life of my own, hoping my incestuous attraction will fade away as I enter a relationship at some point. We were on good terms throughout that period but due to the distance we didn't interact very often, and the less we talked the more I began thinking about her in a sexual way. Then there were the series of failed relationships and the last one, which was very important to me, ended with a massive breakup and disappointment which led me to the point I'm in right now, and now I know that it's either her or no one as I feel disillisioned about other women for good. As for getting her pregnant, highly unlikely at her age but if it miraculously happened I would be the happiest man alive. From my perspective I can say that I honestly believe that having an intimate relationship would fill all the gaps in our regular relationship, that it would help us fix all the shortcomings and definitely it would allow me to communicate my real feelings more accurately. Thank you for the description of your experiences, please feel free to ask me anything, writing about it is already helping me a lot and I've only just begun.

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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 4:38
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I can relate to most of this. Our physical relationship filled big voids that shouldn’t have even been there.

One thing that’s different for me is that my mom wasn’t the primary focus of my sexuality in my young adulthood, which is probably due to the fact I was really a bit of a man whore and a very dull blade. I didn’t really notice. I wasn’t close to her at all, but wanted to be and didn’t understand why not.  Our whole family was like that, we just didn’t talk to each other like that, nobody said “I love you” or expressed affection verbally. Both the early contact and the later deep-dive were initiated by her but I did not resist. I’ve come to find in these pages that’s a bit of an aberration. I think there’s a good explanation for it, but it’s speculation. She hadn’t had any sexual contact for a very very long time, wanted it, loved me, and trusted me. Our age gap wasn’t as great (27 years) and if she’d been able to have a baby, we’d have tried.

I don’t think anyone would be surprised to read that I’m a profoundly different person as a result of our physical relationship.

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Ibis.Noctua
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 14:33
Welcome aboard. I hope you will fulfill your wishes.

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Rick Fortune
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 16:36
abe-you already have stated the advice I would have given you. Hold her hand! In public, just out for a walk or shopping. The communication possible by touch can sometimes convey the sincerity better than words. I have seen several mom/son couples introduce on here lately, and I hope for all of them and you as well, the happiness and romance that my mother and I enjoyed, during the 17 years we were a couple.

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abe2020
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 17:25
If I ever grabbed her hand as we walked she would immediately notice something is wrong as she doesn't know me as someone who is quick to show affection, and she would be right, it would feel super intimate to hold hands in public. Hell, I'd even want to sit next to her on a couch and casually grab her hand as we watch TV!
FullMarriageEquality
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 18:05
Welcome aboard!

You, or anyone in a similar situation, might benefit from this thread:
https://ks2016.forumactif.fr/t2629-for-a-son-who-wants-his-mother

_________________
I blog to support the right of all adults to share love, sex, residence, and marriage: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com

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abe2020
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 20:07
Thank you for pointing me to a very useful thread, having read it through I can't help noticing some of my own thoughts that I've been compiling on the countless sleepless nights in the recent months. Also an extremely valid point on always keeping your mind off the gutter when thinking of your mother in a relationship scenario. Lots of people I've spoken to recently about this refuse to have any semsible conversation and they turn everything pornographic in a really offputting way.
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Rick Fortune
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Thu 25 Nov 2021 - 23:19
Abe-there is no pornography here. Just serious love for the family members we wish to be with. If your mother might be suspicious of you taking her hand, help her out of the car, or down the steps, steady her hips even if she isn't weak. Touch, contact is the way to convince a lady you are a safe partner. FME-thanks for linking the previous thyread we encouraged other sons to reach out to their mothers.

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abe2020
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Fri 26 Nov 2021 - 0:04
Good advice, though I think I can no longer shy away from certain behaviour for fear of it being viewed as suspicious. I will not make her my wife without taking any risk at all.

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