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  1. avatar
    Sat 7 Apr - 15:42
    SightUnseen - Re: Welcome to the Night Owl Club!
    She actually shares this account with me, she has the password and login info. She hasn't been able to make any posts of her own yet because she's in the middle of an exam time right now, so she is swamped with her studies during this time. We will look into getting one of those email accounts soon though.

    There was a time when I would occasionally feel like I might have a desire for my mother as well, but I usually leave it unmentioned because I honestly can't say if it was specifically her, or if it was just a desire to be with an older woman in general. Admittedly, I did spy on my mom in my early teen years and went through a phase where I'd figure out how to let her see me naked in acceptable or seemingly accidental ways. Like on vacation once, she and I came back up to our family beach house after spending time at the beach. We had one of those outdoor sand showers on the house to wash sand off our feet or whatever. I told her I'd just take my bathing suit off out there so I wouldn't drip water and sand everywhere inside. Then I wouldn't go straight to my room when we went inside, I'd usually take a few detours like going to get clothes from the laundry room, a towel and stuff to go take a shower with, etc. That's one example of a method I used a number of times.

    I know that seems kinda pervy and yea, it was. But it gave me a rush back then knowing she was seeing me as a "man" now (i.e. post-puberty). But again, I can't say if it was her specifically. I really feel it was more just being seen by an older woman in general. Nothing as powerful as the feelings for my sister though, so I can't truly relate to your feelings for your mother, but I do understand the principle of the matter.

    As for religion, I am not anti-religious. We were raised as Methodist Christians, went to church every Sunday as kids...but as I got older, I stopped believing. All people at the church ever did was judgment, tell me I'm not welcome their, publicly use me as an example of the wrong way to live and talk endless shit about me. It just seems like a sham to me. I don't judge anyone's beliefs or make fun of them for what they believe though. My sister still believes in God, even though "she's a filthy whore in the lord's eyes" or at least that's what they told her at the church we grew up in.
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