Introduction

Hello All, I’m a 30 yr old Daughter who has been approached by her Stepdad (post divorce). I’m just looking to learn what I can, and see how I feel about all of this. I had suspicions when living as an adult with my mom & step dad about 2 yrs ago, regarding his feelings towards me. I was 18+ when they married, so I was never a child to him.

What would be the harm in having some fun? As long as you are attracted to him of course and your mother doesn't find out

nass.man wrote:What would be the harm in having some fun? As long as you are attracted to him of course and your mother doesn't find out

I don’t have a great relationship with her, so doubt she would.

Some times I think that the only reason people want to have an affair is a sub-conscious desire to punish and or destroy the other, or someone else.
(The feeling of 'love' can be manufactured in the brain as a cover-all excuse for doing anything.)

Do you have any empathy for your mother at all? Did she drop him or he her or would you action spoil an amicable divorce?
I think you should at least double check your motives and his before you act. Are his motives honorable or are you just an easy and convenient target for him. Is he wanting do you just as a way to get back at his 'ex' one day? Just another notch on the bed post?
If this was something serious, i.e. that it could lead to thoughts of marriage, would such a marriage be legal in your state or country? Sorry, I am probably getting too cantankerous with age. Best of luck. But do think of your best long-term future not just the fleeting pleasures of the next day or two.

Good point. I tend to just think in the moment

AbeSarah wrote:Some times I think that the only reason people want to have an affair  is a sub-conscious desire  to punish and or destroy the other, or someone else.
(The feeling of 'love' can be manufactured in the brain as a cover-all excuse for doing anything.)

Do you have any empathy for your mother at all? Did she drop him or he her or would you action spoil an amicable divorce?
I think you should at least  double check your motives and his before you act. Are his motives honorable or are you just an easy and convenient target for him. Is he  wanting do you just as a way to get back at his 'ex' one day? Just another notch on the bed post?
If this was something serious, i.e. that it could lead to thoughts of marriage, would such a marriage be legal in your state or country? Sorry, I am probably  getting too cantankerous with age. Best of luck. But do think of your best long-term future not just the fleeting pleasures of the next day or two.

I completely understand, and I’m just coming here to get a sense of everything. She cheated multiple times, and he divorced her. I had a better relationship with him then I ever have with her. I don’t sense this coming off as a way for him to get back at her, as he is ready to move on. I have also been cheated on and divorced, and have made it clear that I don’t want to get married again or have children.

Hi, Friskypanda, welcome to Kindred Spirits. I’ve upgraded your account for full access to the members-only forums.

Feel free to talk about your situation with your stepdad. We’ll try to help you sort out your feelings as best we can. And whatever decision you make is okay.

Stay safe,
UN

Welcome aboard!