(A very long) Introduction

Short intro: I’m 38, an ally, and I love board games and Mexican food.

Long intro: As I’m a writer, this won’t be a short intro; my apologies. It’s been a journey to get here.

I want to start by saying that I am an ally and have not partaken in a consanguineous partnership, nor do I desire to with any of my family members, to whom I am rather distant. As such, please know my feelings on the topic are not meant to speak for those who have experienced it. I’ll never be able to fully comprehend the whirlwind of feelings that come from finding yourself within one and I will not pretend to do so.

That said, the reason why I’m here is because I’ve come to find a comfort in the concept. When I was young, I was abused, some of which was apparent then, other elements I’m grasping now due to therapy. I’m finally realizing the biggest effect of that: I don’t trust anyone. I can’t let my defenses drop and connect on that level of intimacy required for a long-term commitment. It’s the main reason why I’m going through my second divorce. I feel stunted and I’m always running away, from my past and everyone I know.

I basically have given up on believing I’ll ever find love, let alone the unconditional form. That person who you think you know and can trust could decide to up and walk away for any reason; it’s something almost everyone has seen in some form. You could love them with all your heart and it won’t matter. All that passion and emotional intimacy traded away for a smattering of memories turned bitter. You come to realize that in a typical relationship, you’re just two strangers who met at some point along the journey of life, wanted to spend more time together, and decided to make all these big plans, only to then get bored and walk away to do it again elsewhere, ad nauseam.

I suppose that’s why a long time ago, I found refuge in the concept of consanguineous relationships, even though consciously I didn’t understand why. In said relationship, that connection is formed organically with someone who gets you completely, accepts you for who you are. There’s no need to run from the past because they are as much a part of your history as you are. There are no secrets except the one you squirrel away from society. There is something genuine and real to the connection, not simply, “we got together because we ordered the same drink at a bar and it made us laugh”.

Now, I’m not under the guise that consangs don’t require work and determination, that they don’t also include arguments and challenges. I’m merely saying, from what I’ve experienced, I wish I had someone who I knew I could turn to who I wouldn’t have to hide parts of my past from, who knew all my secrets and I knew theirs, someone who I could relax with and not have to fake my emotions around, someone I could trust. There is such beauty in this intangible sentiment that can be found within consangs, and nowhere else. It defies definition and is remarkable unto itself.

Anyhow, that’s my diatribe for why I’m here and, more broadly, why I’ve been lost and likely will continue to be so for the duration. Sorry for the very lengthy intro; there’s just a lot on my mind I needed to get on the proverbial paper. I hope I can earn  your trust as an ally and I look forward to learning from you all. Thank you.

I want to make sure if you’d be a good fit here. Are you saying you support the rights of consanguineous lovers to have their relationships?

I want to make it clear, this isn’t a place for voyeurism that treats consangs like a kink for your arousal. It doesn’t sound like that’s you’re here for, but I wanted to make that clear.

My support for their rights is 100% why I’m here. Apologies for not touching on that. Not a voyeur. I can assure you your message is clear as a bell.

Thanks and welcome aboard! I’ve upgraded your account.

Thank you!

Welcome to Kindred Spirits, Interoute! You are absolutely correct. Consang love can be very intense, but it is not unconditional, even at best.

I hope you can find what you’re looking for here, and in life.

Stay safe,
UN