My Introduction - A Son Remembering His Dad

Hello to all. I found this forum from a link on Reddit. In reading over many of the introductions here, I decided I would give my own story of why I'm in a forum like this. I'm in my 50's now. My experiences involved my dad, and it was purely consensual and for me, at least, the most rewarding thing I could ever experience. This evolution began when I was 23. My parents had split when I was young, 6. It was a bitter split at first, and I was glad to leave home once on my own at 18. I had a job and was supporting myself in a meager apartment. My mom remarried to have another son. My dad never remarried and was a loner, romantically speaking. One day he stopped over when I was 23, and he was in his mid 50's then. It was a tough conversation because I had to tell him about emerging sexual desires for men by this point. He was a laid back, B-type personality. He wasn't angry. In fact he said to me that he wasn't sure what to say. I was thinking the worst, and he was pretty stoically "OK" with it. He even said he had been there himself as a young man growing up in post WW2 Europe. I was shocked by that. He thought nothing worse of me, and just went on his way.

Fast forward 3 years. My work circumstances changed, so I moved in to my uncle's home, where my dad was also living (they were brothers). My aunt and grandmother also lived there. My room was on the opposite side of the staircase as my dad's room on the main floor. It was common after work and dinner for us to occasionally talk later into the night. And this was where things started to progress. Without going into details, these late night discussions evolved. I thanked him, as I recall, for being understanding years earlier about my sexual excursions. His curiosity about what I had done and his questions began this journey. Over the course of the next year, the idea these conversations would evolve from non contact, then to some contact, and then full contact sexually was something I couldn't have ever envisioned before I moved in there. I will say what many here might agree with: the contact sexually with a relative is both the most rewarding and the most stressful contact, simultaneously. That this should evolve with him was beyond what I ever would have thought possible.

It wasn't without a definite mixed bag of consequences. The sheer intensity of being with a family member sexually was unequaled to me in every other sexual encounter I had. It's part of what made it both so difficult to get to that first time, and so difficult to stop contact thereafter. It's what I remember most about that first event: the fallout. My dad wasn't a verbally expressive person. The more superficial the conversation the better he felt. I remember going back to my room thinking, "What just happened?". It took me a while to accept that he wasn't about to go into discussions in depth about it, and I learned to be OK with it. In fact I thought there would never be another event. But he just needed process time. He was old world Europe, not cutting edge American. Month or so later he started to same set of conversations late at night, and it led to another event. So that was his MO. I just accepted that. This was gonna go on his timetable, not necessarily mine. I had to learn to accept that too. Looking back, it wasn't a bad approach. There was definitely pressure to keep it hidden from the rest of the family in the house, not to mention my siblings. So infrequency was sort of necessary. As much as I wanted to just shack up with him every night. The other consequence was the almost lack of any conversation about it - either beforehand to get into the moment, and definitely not during or after it. It was strange in a way. He needed to "not talk too much" about what was happening in order for him to be able to do what was happening. That's how he rolled, so that's how it had to be. I was just glad to have what we did have for the few years we did have it.

Seven years after that, a job opportunity came that had me move across the country. That effectively ended what we did share. That was fairly heartbreaking to me - but I couldn't discuss it much with him because he really wasn't about discussing it much even when it was going on . But I came to realize it was time to move forward. On occasion over the phone, we'd refer to those days and it was always good - even though he'd manage to cut it short! It was just who he was. He passed 12 years ago. But I will remember that time with him forever. I write this here for anyone who has experienced both that unmatched intensity of consensual incest along with all the pressure you feel to keep things as hidden as possible, since in most cases it's necessary. If this story helps, then I'll be glad for that.

Hi, Voicemale, welcome to Kindred Spirits, and thank you for sharing your story. I’ve upgraded your account.

You’ll find that KS is a much different place than Reddit. But you seem to know that already. Hope you enjoy it here and find a few kindred spirits.

Stay safe,
UN

Thank you so much for sharing your story, voicemale! I'm so glad you got to share those special experiences with your dad, even though it came with its downsides and it couldn't last forever. I'm really glad to hear that you look back fondly on the experience. I'm sorry he wasn't willing to talk to you about it in more depth, but I'm glad you found acceptance with where he was at and could still carry something good from your time with him into your life going forward.

MorganEAshton wrote:Thank you so much for sharing your story, voicemale!  I'm so glad you got to share those special experiences with your dad, even though it came with its downsides and it couldn't last forever.  I'm really glad to hear that you look back fondly on the experience.  I'm sorry he wasn't willing to talk to you about it in more depth, but I'm glad you found acceptance with where he was at and could still carry something good from your time with him into your life going forward.

Thank you so much. I just had to accept he was who he was. And he rolled in the way he needed to so he could do what he did. It wasn't the best arrangement in that regard, but it was worth it. The intensity was unmatched.

Welcome aboard!