Hi Everyone!

I'm so happy to have found this place. I kind of never dreamed it existed. I'm 43 and have 20 year old daughter that I've been in a relationship with for a little over a year. It's very intense. Like nothing I've ever experienced before and she feels the same way. We both have a lot of shame around it. Like soul-crushing shame but we keep coming back to each other. We're kind of in this cycle of last time, last time, never again, we can't be doing this and then back in each other's arms. It's tough to shake of the societal programming so to speak. I'm working on it though. I love her very much.

Hi elmarty, I'm guessing that all of your shame derives from what society would think if discovered, as well as, what they would do to the two of you. If that's the case, I wouldn't worry and put all that extra energy into making sure you keep it secret. Look to move to a state where it's not illegal (NJ is one, I think) or a country where it isn't illegal (Portugal I think). At this point, what's done has been done and the judgement and penalties imposed by society would be the same if it happened a few times or a few hundred. It sounds like you have a beautiful and powerful love between the two of you. Enjoy that and try to lose the guilt if it is only coming from what others would think/do. Welcome to the site!

Hi, Elmarty, welcome to Kindred Spirits, and congratulations on your love with your daughter. I’ve upgraded your account.

I agree with Eddy. As long as you didn’t coerce your daughter into the relationship, and she didn’t coerce you, then neither of you have anything to be ashamed of. She was an adult when she decided to be with you, and neither of you is harming anyone else, including each other.

We seem to have quite a few father-daughter couples active at the moment. I hope you’ll tell us your story in the members-only Your Story forum. Hope you enjoy it here!

Stay safe,
UN

Welcome aboard!

elmarty-forget the guilt. Fortunately for mom and I, we never had guilt. We were so desparately in love with each other, we put all our energy into being together. It will pay you back in spades in the end.