Introduction: A classic case of half-sibling GSA

Hi all! I'm a woman in my 40's, and I met my entire paternal family for the first time about 3 years ago as a result of a commercial DNA test. About 6 months ago, my relationship with my paternal half-brother (also an adult from the time that I met him) became sexual and we have been happily living together as a couple since then.

We live in the U.S. in a state where our relationship is illegal, and I'm primarily joining this forum to try to understand what I can do to help get the laws changed in individual states while still maintaining my anonymity (so as not to lose my job).

Thanks for reading my introduction!

Hi, Maggie, welcome to Kindred Spirits, and congratulations on your love with your half-brother. I’ve upgraded your account.

There are a few states where your relationship would not be illegal. New Jersey, Rhode Island, and I believe Ohio come to mind. For others, I have no easy answers. You might want to check out the Activism forum and Keith Pullman’s Full Marriage Equality blog, and if you have any ideas yourself, we’d love to hear them.

Peace,
UN

Thank you for the warm welcome, UN! Quick note: I don't think my account actually got upgraded... I can still only see the "PUBLIC" forum topics.

Sorry about that, Maggie, your account should be upgraded now.

Peace,
UN

Congratulations on finding each other and having the courage to ignore the taboo.

As for the laws...not going to change. Laws for or against something only change AFTER society's views on the matter change first, and that's not going to happen.

What you can do is work to ensure that your relationship is kept private and is therefore not subject to state interference.

I wouldn’t be so pessimistic, Hans. I think the laws will change. Maybe not in our lifetimes, but sometime. For now, we can work quietly to pave the road to change.

I know there is a lot of interest in consanguinamory. Interest implies acceptance.

Peace,
UN

Welcome aboard!

Welcome to the forum.  Although most people in their 40's are pretty settled in terms of employment and home, this isn't always the case, and you might want to consider moving to a country where consanguinamorous relationships are not illegal.  There is a remarkably long list of countries that do not prohibit consenting incestuous relationships between adults.

Incest is legal in the countries of Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, France, India, Israel, Italy, Ivory Coast, Japan, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Portugal, Russia, Serbia, Slovenia, South Korea, Spain, Thailand, Turkey, and in some states in the US (Ohio, Rhode Island and New Jersey.)

Incest (consenting, adult, incest relationship--CAIR) is not illegal in Ohio, Rhode Island and New Jersey not because those states are progressive and forward-thinking.  Far from it.  The laws against incest in those states were more-or-less "accidentally" removed and have not been replaced.  There is still plenty of animosity towards CAIR couples there, and significant social hostility.  The laws could be changed or re-instated at any time, creating a vulnerable legal position for anyone involved in a CAIR.

The same could be said to be true of many other countries as well, but if you intend to work towards legalizing (or at least decriminalizing) CAIR you would be wise to be very careful about from where you intend to do so.  You'd be a lot safer in France, Belgium or the Netherlands than you would be in New Jersey or Rhode Island.

In general, I do not advise ANY consang couple to come "out of the closet" on U.S. soil.  As long as you take proper security precautions (what we have called "OPSEC" precautions on this site) you should be flying sufficiently beneath the radar, but living in the closet in the U.S. is a degree of nerve-wracking anxiety that would be entirely absent in a country like the Netherlands.