Me and my cousin

Hello all I'm new here... 36 yr old male from the US down south. I am in love with my first cousin. We started a secret relationship when we were 20. We come from a very religious family so we knew we had to keep our relationship a secret or get basically cut off for life from our family. We talked about getting married and being together for the rest of our lives when we started.. but knew we couldn't come out to our family. So we decided to date other people and now we are both married to others but she and I still feel to this day we belong together. We are each others true love and it saddens us that we are not together.

I can only say this. If you truly love each other, don't hurt others. You both have spouse's. You need to talk, and I mean seriously talk to each other. Can you make this work? Are you prepared for what is ahead? It isnt your blood tie that matters here. It's commitment. Don't hurt your legal partner. If you really only love each other, you need to both find out if you are prepared to take the steps to be together. What you feel is not wrong or ugly. You have to decide the greater hurt. You're partner's, or each other. Your relationship is not typical. I didn't say not normal. You have challenges most will never have. Stay true to love and your own concept of honor. Never forget others also hurt. I know it sounds hard, but whatever choice you make, keep others feelings in front of you. You don't choose your.connection, but only you can choose how to act going forward
My very best hope for you,
A&A

Welcome to KS, Edu! Congratulations on your love with your cousin, but a tough situation that many other members here face. I’ve upgraded your membership. I hope you’ll join us in the discussions in the members-only forums.

And thanks for welcoming him, Allegro. I agree with your points. We can talk about it more inside if you like.

Best,
UN

Welcome aboard! Most religious histories include cousin relationships. But like UN said, we can talk more in the member areas.

A&A’s sentiment couldn’t be more true , I wish we all had such courage to be so unabashedly coupled.

Lots of people here know what it's like having to hide a relationship, and it does take a toll on people over time and is often a contributing factor to people breaking up and trying to go their separate ways. At this point you've both got choices to make. Do you remain in your marriages and give up on each other, or do you both divorce your spouses and set sail into the sunset to somewhere nobody knows you? Then you could marry and live like any other couple. Either way you choose, someone is going to be hurt. There are many things to consider, do either of you have children? I ask this because it is harder for many people to leave a relationship while they're trying to raise their kids than it is when there are no kids and you can have a clean break. We can't tell you what you should do, you know best for your own individual lives and circumstances, I'm just saying that there are many things you'll need to take into consideration.

This said, that your family would cut you out for being a cousin couple is an outrage and extremely sad to hear. Many countries accept cousins, even if it causes some people to raise an eyebrow.

AZ,
The relationship that you find yourself in takes remarkable courage. But, just by admitting to yourselves and each other how you feel, you've already displayed that.

I can speak from personal experience, as can most others here, just how terrifying that can be. However, you can draw on that same courage, and each other, to move forward and have a happy and fulfilling life.
In order for my sister and I to be together, we've both had to learn a completely new language, and I'm literally having to move to another country. We were able to accomplish all of this through shared courage, love and mutual support.
If you remain courageous and loving, all things are possible. Notice I said possible, not certain.
I'm no one to pass any sort of judgement on anyone's choices involving love between consenting adults. So whether you choose to stay with your spouses or not, only you can choose what's right for you based on your own moral compass.
The only thing I can share is my experience. It's extremely difficult to maintain the life my sister and I want, and we are both monogamous and unmarried (spiritually to each other, but that's a separate conversation.) Having to hide our love from the world is incredibly painful and stressful at times. I can't even imagine how we'd feel if we also had to lead an ADDITIONAL double life with affairs on our legal spouses. I know that has to be brutal on both of you.
So again. Courage. Communicate. Love. Be compassionate to each other and those around you. If you keep that in mind, I think you'll both make the right decision for yourselves and each other. My choice may not be right for you. My sister and I thought long and hard and shed countless tears before making our decision. For she and I, there is simply no other option than being together. Because of that, we we're prepared to make any sacrifice. Again, I can't tell you that's the right choice for you.
Both our prayers and best wishes for you and yours. Any support I can offer, you have. Feel free to PM me any time.
A&A