Hi all , my short story.

Even if I wrote this intro about me , I did it in the wrong place ; I noticed only today , so I re-post this intro here that the right place.

Hi all
I'm a digital artist working with Photoshop CC and other software, I'm develop some projects of mine about the topic of incest for personal question; I studied Molecoular biolgy and art for myself (and also because my parent was both artists and writers). I'm here because I know this forum reading the posts wrote on "Quora".
Why I'm interested in incest? this is a short description I hope can you help to undrstand who I'm.

I am now over 40, my parents are gone and I have no relatives; and despite a past in which I have had many relationships, both occasionally and serious (3 beautiful love stories, now all ended serenely), I currently do not have a partner and I never had children (I wanted, but in all the relationships I had I never gain the right moment to create a family), I’m single now because I am going through a period of serious depression, so now I have no incentive to look for someone, because I don't want to talk about me, my past and how I feel myself in this last years; I would be just a burden and I don't want because in reality I’m not so, also actually I would have nothing to offer except maybe my culture ...

My life was then transformed into a silent corner, and ahead of my artistic work projects, I have no plans, I reduced my needs and necessities to the essentials and I was very isolated.

This premise was necessary to give you a clue as to who you are facing ...

Returning to the main theme of the topic now I try to better explain what I Feel
My incestuous desire for an hypothetical sister (since I am an only child), an aunt (I have never had this too), or overall a mother (but not the mine), start when I was around 10 year old and it is also very strong today, perhaps even stronger than before.

Why I excluded my mother? Basically my parents, even if I loved them both (in a non-sexual way) and I have great esteem for them, were a couple associated with a very turbulent past and both, for completely different reasons, even with a turbulent childhood. .. My father believed he had kept many things within himself, but he was a very sweet and exceptional person, my mother, on the other hand, has widened and refined his an-affection, especially towards me; not that she wanted me bad, on the contrary, in fact she is often giving up on herself, and I always loved her as her to me, but she has never been shown and open her affect to me as I would; this is the “psychological” reason that my incest dream is not with my real mother, but with the “Idea of mother” I feel inside me.. (in short, both by character and by desire never satisfied, I am looking for something that I have always wanted but I have never had).

Without wanting to go too far, you can now easily imagine the nature of my desire (which I would call it more than any other "a fantasy", since I no longer have a family, and even if my parents were still alive I would not turn this desire of mine towards him, but towards an imaginary figures I've never had).

Hey, Dag, you’re already in, so no need to re-post your intro!

Stay safe,
UN

ok sorry...

No problem. I’ll leave it here.

Stay safe,
UN

Hi dag
I can relate to your feeling of the ideal mother figure. I had very similar in my childhood regarding a father figure. My dad was a brilliant person and he was, after descovering boys, the ideal figure to be with. I liked older men and desired them. I was lucky that my fantasy ideal figures I connected with net those needs before moving onto relationships outside the family
My future husband met and kept those desires but the relationship is no longer.
Nowadays my ideal is younger man. Thru depression and some health probs I had a low esteem time. After some counselling and friends I seem to have wanted to relive the part of youth I missed out on. Then dating older men now wanting to date the ones that woukd have been my age then. However I can and before lockdown met a young guy who fulfilled the physical need and role play, my mind and emotions would yeald so I find hard to trust. Another long story, but non sexual emotions are fulfilled by my son but the physical side to be linked in hasn't been met
Although things have become clearer to me over past few months years I still desire the connection with one person which may lead me back to being good with a normal non family relationship. Or may lose that family member or bring us closer together and have ongoing one

I have no intention of creating a relationship of that type and I don't even think about it, it is and remains a fantasy, a desire for a piece of my youth and that's it.
What I do now is just to give vent to art through those fantasies (not always), that's enough for me.

I noticed that someone downvoted Dag’s lead article in this thread. Can’t imagine why. Hope it was just a mistake.

For my own part, I consider Dag an ally, and an exceptionally valuable one for his artistic talent, which is considerable. And he’s in the unenviable and unique position of being a consang who’s attracted to family members who not only are unavailable, but never even existed. Let that sink in for a minute...

If anyone has an issue with what he wrote, please PM me or any other mod or admin.

Stay safe,
UN

I suppose someone wanted to downvote it
I take it that is the prerogative of it as well as wanting to upvote
And same as rating members.