Ally who wishes that he could have been more

Hi,

I'm a single man in his mid-60's who stumbled upon this forum while searching upon related topics and I'm happy to have found it.

There's really not much more to my story than unrequited desire for my late mother.

I grew up as an only child in the suburbs, and my parents never seemed to be particularly happy in their marriage and eventually they didn't seem to be particularly happy with me.  As I reached my late teens and reached for more freedom, I was always called out by my parents (especially my mother) for things like breaking curfew, not calling to check in, the usual stuff.

As I read some of the mother/son introduction stories here, I noticed that the relationships before intimacy began seemed to be very loving and supportive.  My desire for my mom came from a very different dynamic, though.

So often, we hear about couples who bicker and fight, and the conflict fuels their passion.  When I'd stay out late while living at home during my first two years of college, and my mother got angry at me, my sexual attraction to her grew by leaps and bounds.  I often hoped that one of our arguments would have ended in a passionate kiss and more.

At that time, my greatest hope was that my parents would have divorced, leading to a lot of alone time with mom, and possibly opening the door to that moment.  But as unhappy as they appeared to be, they really didn't do a lot of things without each other.  Their work schedules were similar and even trips to the grocery store and other errands were usually done together.

Not long after my mother passed away, I talked with my father who confessed that he had been very unhappy in the marriage and wishes that they had divorced years earlier.  Of course, I didn't tell him that I wish they had divorced years earlier, too.  I still feel a real sting of regret over a lost opportunity that may have been closer than I imagined at the time.

Well, that's my story and I want to say that I respect anyone who reaches out for love and intimacy (between consenting adults, of course), regardless of what's considered socially acceptable or unacceptable.  Giving and receiving love is the single best thing we do.

Welcome to Kindred Spirits, Constellation83. I’ve upgraded your account.

A sad, but common, scenario. Little to do about it now.

Stay safe,
UN

Welcome aboard!

Welcome, Constellation83.