Hello I’m Ryan (lengthy introduction)

Im 26 years old and my mother is 50. I’ve always had a thing for older women(MILFs), maybe because I have a very large family with beautiful curvy Asian women and it just stuck. Peeping on my mother as a child was pretty much a rare sight because my mother was alway conservative as she was raised during a genocide and grew up in a Cambodian village where she was know as the most beautiful girl in her village. She also doesn’t speak or understand very much English.
She raised me and my sister while being single and remarried when we became teens. Since then she’s had 2 more kids. I think I’m in a special situation because my mom and stepdad don’t really love each other anymore and sleep in different bedrooms. He got in big trouble when he sent an unsolicited dick pic to my sister when she was 13 but they decided to stay together for the child. 3 years ago my sister has been murdered which effected my relationship with my mother and family as a whole.
Over this past year she has been having the desire to sleep with my mom but I don’t think it’ll be so easy as some make it out to be online. It’s come to the point where the few times I look at xxx I can only get aroused if they resemble my mother.
For answers I went to several Reddit where I found several stories of sons having amazing relationships with their mothers as partners but when I asked for advice it would get deleted or I’d get some perverted answers like leaving cum on a few of her panties or hugging her with an erect penis under my pants. One guy even told me he would drug her if he had a mom as hot as mine. Her door was cracked once and I saw her sleeping with one butt cheek and full leg exposed. My heart was pounding out my chest like it’s never had before from other women. After no luck finding advice I took a break from the idea.
Half a year later I find info on Quora that I could agree with I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to start a relationship with my lovely mother and found myself here in this forum. Thank you all for the courage and acceptance to love

Hi, Ryan, welcome to Kindred Spirits. It took me a little while to figure your intro out, but I’ve upgraded your account.

You’re right, KS is not like Reddit or Quora. We’re a support group, not a site for fetish stories. We do have a number of sons who have unrequited feelings for their mothers, and I’m not sure how many are actually successful, but you’re welcome to talk over your feelings here.

Stay safe,
UN

Welcome Ryan! I'm glad your diligent search for answers has brought you to our forum. Hopefully we will be able to give you useful advice, perspective, and support.

Welcome!

Thanks everyone, @unowen I  wouldn’t say it’s totally unrequited sometimes I play box her while she watches tv lightly punching her thighs and she smiles and laughs, tease squeeze her belly and make fun of her chunk roll(she doesn’t have a muffin top), give her foot and calf massages twice this year and she said I was amazing but that’s about it were not very close. I guess I have to work on that and earn some brownie points thanks Owen I appreciate your post.
@polyguy thanks I never heard of cosang until a few days ago it’s like a fine wine version of the beer knowledge I find with incest threads I feel much more confident with this perspective

Hey, Ryan, what’s the matter with beer?

Stay safe,
UN

Lol okay maybe beer is a bad example… it’s horse piss mixed with