Intro, maybe requited love with half sibling

I 25(Intersex) have been in love with them(31nb) since almost the moment I first saw them. We were spilt up pretty young, I was 1ish and they were 7. We both had not great childhoods but when I was 18 I left my home in Florida and came to visit them and their bf (polyamorous) in the northeast. We clicked instantly taking for hours spending pretty much all day everyday with each other. They asked me to move in and I had no where else to go so I agreed.
Over the years we have had a couple incounters and some long cuddly nights. But they go back and forth on what they want and I've never got a real answer of how they feel about me. Bring it up to the present, I moved away for some years partially because of all this, but moved back recently and the tension is higher than ever and I have no idea how their bf feels about any of this or how much they know. They avoid bringing it up in other company but make 'jokes' about it and how they know how I feel when we are alone. They hold my hand constantly when we aren't around people we know and hug me, kissing me on the cheek the way couples do. I catch them staring longingly sometimes.
In conclusion, I'm at a lost of what to do, cause it's sorta tearing me up inside but I don't want to hurt or lose them and I just wish I knew how they felt.

Hi, Budsofstone, welcome to Kindred Spirits. I’ve upgraded your account.

Tough situation, especially since there is a boyfriend in the picture. There’s no way to know how they feel except to talk to them, privately and candidly.

Please enjoy the forum and feel free to talk over your situation here. GSA is a cast-iron nightmare for some.

Stay safe,
UN

Welcome aboard!