New arrival

Hope to meet some of you and look forward to exploring the site. And Yes, I turned 18 many many moons ago...

Welcome cuz,
Are you an ally or have you had an actual consang relationship?

Welcome to Kindred Spirits, CuzIdo! I echo Olderson’s request, could you please tell us what brings you here?

Peace,
UN

With minimal understanding of the definitions provided, I suppose I fall into the Consang side of the equation...
I was in a long term relationship with my first cousin when we were late teens (under the radar of most) but then we returned to that relationship many years later as adults.

Background:
We both left long term marriages to get back together and were together much more formally and openly for 8 years. We love each other very much to this day and would still be together if not for a very controlling adult daughter of hers that seems to be on a life long mission to prevent her mother from forming any type of intimate relationship that distracts moms attention from her daughter endless need to be handheld through life.
That daughter, still at home and very much dependent on her Mother for everything, is in her mid 20 now with no immediate plans to take on the role of a self supporting adult human. It eventually came down to me taking a stand that we stop enabling her to continue the free ride and insist she make some grown ass decisions about her direction in life.

That then triggered a full on assault on our relationship that in the end caused too much tension between us. (child won)
Repeat this scenario 4 times and that's moms life to-date... The daughter is no slouch when it comes to manipulation. She identifying any tiny weakness and then goes to work on picking and poking at it till it festers into an issue without resolve. I have watched her destroy 4 otherwise solid relationships now...

I have also moved on but deeply miss what we had for the past 40 plus years. We still get together from time to time just to connect but that incredible glow we always shared seems to have faded unfortunately. That feeling we shared remains the benchmark of what a relationship could be for both of us and we both struggle at times with current partners knowing what it's really like to love someone so deeply, and knowing what's missing in our current relationships.

I am not sure how that fits in with this venue but thought I would explore the forum and see how things have worked with others or perhaps similar struggles others have experienced in similar situations. It is not an easy road, we discovered pretty quickly, and we made some mistakes along the way that played into how people received our decision to be together. Some were very accepting, however it drove a wedge between others within our family and circle of friends.
You need to be understanding of those that struggled with it but at the same time it is an added tension you carry each day. Some of the people you least expect may push back on what you have decided is just too good to miss out on. You can lose great friends and family connections but experience tremendous love like never before. Reconciling that trade off has always been the challenge.

Thanks for the detail, CuzIdo. It fits in fine here. I’ve upgraded your account.

That’s heartbreaking about your cousin’s daughter acting that way. I hope you are able to find some peace about it, and that we can help.

Peace,
UN