Hello! 39M excited to be here!

Hi, I'm a 39 year old male and I've had a very strong magnetic attraction to family since I can remember. Showers stopped with my mom when I slapped her ass lol, and I was drawing stick figures with boobs and a bush.

When I hit puberty, I had two amazingly hot cousins who were the source of most of my fantasies. They were 5 and 6 years older. One had blonde hair and D cup breasts and the other was a brunette with C cups. The brunette was even more beautiful and had fine white skin, we spent a lot of time together. I couldn't help but stare when she wore a halter top and leaned down, showing her soft white breasts. I wanted her so bad. I tried sending telepathic messages to get naughty but it didn't work. Ha.

I masturbated thinking of situations where we would touch each other, suck on her breasts, her suck my penis, have sex, cum in her mouth. This translates to lots of dreams too. I hated it that I never actually got to have sex with her. I would manage to cop a feel. She would play with my dick but we never had sex.

Until the dreams years later at the age of about 28. Maybe that's because in reality she had fantasies about me too. We had full on sex. Wet dreams galore. I remember one dream when she was ravenously sucking my cock with a smile on her face and those cock crazed eyes, moaning and mmm-ing. When I came, I came hard, for like 2 minutes straight. Felt 100% real and shot rivers of hot cum in her mouth, down her throat, cum pouring out. It was amazing.

I never had the nerve to initiate anything. I really thought about asking her when I younger if she could teach me how to kiss because I'd never kissed a girl but I never did. The boldest action I took was when we were swimming in her parent's small round above ground pool. (Oh my God, she was so fit and her breasts were angelic. Shiny skin. She probably saw me pitching a tent. I wonder if that planted any seeds to this day) one day she got out of the pool to go inside and I couldn't take it any more. All I was thinking about was grabbing her breasts and French kissing and getting a blowjob.

So while she was inside, I started jerking off. I shot my load right in the water. I thought about how she'd be swimming in my semen. Then I experienced the nightmare of finding out that cum doesn't dissolve. It just floats around and sticks to everything. Lol. I tried really hard to disperse it.

One day after she had divorced her husband she was talking about people she was attracted to, and said, "Of you weren't my cousin I'd date YOU." And I just said, *yeah that's too bad." I wish I had said, "you know it's legal for consenting cousins to get married in some places." Dammit.

The farthest I've gone was one night when I was drunk and my mom was waking up and I was still up, it was time to go to bed and I said fuck it. I went to hug her goodnight, and I kissed her on the lips. She said, "oh! I hadn't kissed her in the lips since I was a kid. Then I shoved my tongue in her mouth and she said stop it and I slapped her ass and walked away. I didn't remember doing it the next day but later it popped into my head and I was like oh no... She never said anything about it.

My cousin is single now and I've been horny as fuck. She was sex crazed when she was a young adult, probably still is. There might still be a chance. I've been thinking about ways I could tell her about my obsession and share some of the porn that I'm into. She had a box of porn DVDs she gave away one day. Maybe. I have to go! See ya around!

I forgot to say,I'm an ally for sure. I have a great idea for a project I'm working on that will hopefully start a new trend that'll get many people to be more open but anonymous about it and get people intrigued and understanding. And provide a lot of material for masturbating to for us obsessive GSA's

The purpose of KS is not providing or distributing masturbation material.

Upgrade denied. Thread locked.

Peace,
UN