INTRODUCTION

uh hello, my name is Laura (20)

i was curious about this forum and came from another one called Full Marriage Equality? hope I'm saying that currently. Honestly I'm here just to get a better understanding of this relationship thing between family and try having an open mind about it. I'm not one to judge anyone without knowing the full context of the situation/story so don't worry I'm pretty much neutral about this and don't lean to either sides, but i do believe fully in equality.

Welcome. Have you had an interest in a family member?
I was with my mom for about 5 years, 30 years ago. The most intimate and deepest connection I've had with any woman.

Not really, no offense but i could never think about my family in that kind of way....it just makes me feel extremely weird and uncomfortable.
Nonetheless i did one time when i was very young have a dream about my brother once, it was a weird dream personally to me because in the dream i pictured us kissing on a bed together while playing house, like pretend husband and wife and my little sister was involved with her being the pretend daughter. Since that dream (which was long ago) i haven't mentioned it to nobody, it feels wrong and I'm a little ashamed of myself. But i guess luckily it felt like a blur to me and i forget things easily so i don't accidently just blurt it out.

With my mom, I was interested in sex with her. We talked about it and agreed. After the first time I told her we shouldn't have done it. Felt weird, guilty society's view of its wrong. So she took offense and blamed me, when she should have said she enjoyed it, even if I was uncomfortable. We should have had more discussions before the first time, that would probabally have eliminated that issue. We tried again within the month and it was more enjoyable, and after about 10 times, it was very comfortable.
My mom was married to my dad, and we had to keep it on the down low. He worked at night so it wasn't that hard to do so.
I don't personally think our interactions were cheating. My mom had a history of cheating on my dad and once we started, she didn't have an interest in cheating anymore. Gets me wondering how many people cheating would actually stop is they were with a family member. For years I dealt with guilt from society and my dad when he found out. But I've got to a place over the years of letting that go, and being on this forum for a year has really helped me with that.
I've never had an opportunity before this site to give guys advice as to how they can be with their moms, lol I love it.
My hope is that society will relax with the family sex is ick. Things are coming around for the LGBTQ community getting more acceptance now, when all thru the past they were getting shade and hate. I think every adult should expierence love on whatever level works for them without society sticking their fist in it.

I suppose it does make you wonder about the whole cheating thing between actual couples. But i feel like personally for me, if cheating was just mainly subjected to within your family the chances of breaking up your family would still be high since your much more closer to them than a stranger. Plus i've heard that sometimes families aren't accepting of this type of thing so it could cause more heartache in the long run. i don't condemn you for what your doing with your mom, i mean your both adults so you can make your own decision regarding yourself and family, I'm just learning about this whole thing today so sorry if the way i interpret it is wrong.....oh btw are you still together with your mom or did you guys break it off? it's alright if you don't want to tell me though i wont force it.

And as for society i think it might take maybe several years max before this kind of thing is normalized or at least celebrated within a group.

Good morning, Laura, and welcome to Kindred Spirits. What got you interested in consanguinamory? Most people don’t find us unless they come looking.

Peace,
UN

oh don't mind me here, just trying to broaden my horizon and learn new things as i go along. I'm also a Christian from a conservative household but that doesn't mean I'm one to immediately start judging people, it's honestly their life and have nothing to do with me. Overall I'm just here to learn more about this whole family relationship thing in both it's positive and negative light.

Goldencrow_260 wrote:I suppose it does make you wonder about the whole cheating thing between actual couples. But i feel like personally for me, if cheating was just mainly subjected to within your family the chances of breaking up your family would still be high since your much more closer to them than a stranger. Plus i've heard that sometimes families aren't accepting of this type of thing so it could cause more heartache in the long run. i don't condemn you for what your doing with your mom, i mean your both adults so you can make your own decision regarding yourself and family, I'm just learning about this whole thing today so sorry if the way i interpret it is wrong.....oh btw are you still together with your mom or did you guys break it off? it's alright if you don't want to tell me though i wont force it.

And as for society i think it might take maybe several years max before this kind of thing is normalized or at least celebrated within a group.

I'm nolonger with her, she passed away about 6 years ago.
We were only active together 30 years ago for about 5-6 years.

Goldencrow_260 wrote:oh don't mind me here, just trying to broaden my horizon and learn new things as i go along. I'm also a Christian from a conservative household but that doesn't mean I'm one to immediately start judging people, it's honestly their life and have nothing to do with me. Overall I'm just here to learn more about this whole family relationship thing in both it's positive and negative light.

You are a uncommon Christian, to even want to learn about this.

I'm also ok with LGBTQ and my wife and other Christian friends condemn them as sinful. I think if 2 people of any gender love each other, why should anyone guilt them as wrong. We only have one shot at life here on earth and if 2 gay people find love, that's great. The Christian idea that a gay person should deny their desires for the rest of their lives is sad.

yes i suppose I'm a uncommon Christian, but i see nothing wrong with the LGBTQ community you know. i even have a few friends who are bisexual and i fully support them even if my family doesn't agree with it. I'm not condemning anyone from something they can't control because everyone has their different paths in life and they are allowed to live it. And yes your very right we all have one life in this world and we never know when it can be taken from us so i guess YOLO but safely

Thanks, Laura, I’ve upgraded your membership. Hope you enjoy the forum!

There are a lot of Christians who feel the same way. I’m one of them.

Peace,
UN

[quote="Goldencrow_260". . . I'm also a Christian from a conservative household but that doesn't mean I'm one to immediately start judging people. . .[/quote]
Welcome. I'm also a conservative Christian, but in the US "conservative" means something a lot more extreme than it does in the UK.
I'm an ally with on family romances, but I have read up on it. There is an ick factor to family romances. It's a natural biological response and wishing that it weren't there won't change it. But I believe people should mind their own business and would like to see a day when folks leave other folks alone.
As for being Christian, I also believe the Good Book when it condemns incest in the Hebrew law, along with eating pork and mixing wool with linen. These are purity laws to separate the Israelites from the surrounding communities, and I agree with the scholars that the rules were only intended for the Hebrew people and weren't intended to be applied to others. So it's not a sin if you're not under the Mosaic Law, and Christians have been released from that.
We have too great a tendency to read The Bible literally when it suits us but to apply it figuratively when our emotions are involved. When the New Testament says we're free of the law, then we're free. The Ten Commandments are eternal, but incest is only condemned in the Hebrew purity laws. And I'm reluctant to add to the Word of God that which isn't there.

Olderson1991 wrote:With my mom, I was interested in sex with her. We talked about it and agreed. After the first time I told her we shouldn't have done it. Felt weird, guilty society's view of its wrong. So she took offense and blamed me, when she should have said she enjoyed it, even if I was uncomfortable. We should have had more discussions before the first time, that would probabally have eliminated that issue. We tried again within the month and it was more enjoyable, and after about 10 times, it was very comfortable.
My mom was married to my dad, and we had to keep it on the down low. He worked at night so it wasn't that hard to do so.
I don't personally think our  interactions were cheating. My mom had a history of cheating on my dad and once we started, she didn't have an interest in cheating anymore. Gets me wondering how many people cheating would actually stop is they were with a family member. For years I dealt with guilt from society and my dad when he found out. But I've got to a place over the years of letting that go, and being on this forum for a year has really helped me with that.
I've never had an opportunity before this site  to give guys advice as to how they can be with their moms, lol I love it.
My hope is that society will relax with the family sex is ick. Things are coming around for the LGBTQ community getting more acceptance now, when all thru the past they were getting shade and hate. I think every adult should expierence love on whatever level works for them without society sticking their fist in it.

Are you the only child?
It seems your mom cheating on your dad probably because of sex drive differences?
How did your dad find out? I imagine he was very upset? Is that the reason you stopped?
Thanks.

Hello~ Amico di Amore, lovely username btw. it's nice to meet other Christians from other places and I'm interested in your thoughts and beliefs. it's been a while since i've read the bible but i still follow up with it and so does my family. And yes i suppose it is quite natural for people to feel icky about it but your right, it's their buisness and life and others shouldn't be involved in it if they are only bringing negativity and unneeded opinions into someone else matter. and that's coming from me since I'm normally a positive thinker, but i do have my off days just like everyone else....

josephlin101 wrote:

Olderson1991 wrote:With my mom, I was interested in sex with her. We talked about it and agreed. After the first time I told her we shouldn't have done it. Felt weird, guilty society's view of its wrong. So she took offense and blamed me, when she should have said she enjoyed it, even if I was uncomfortable. We should have had more discussions before the first time, that would probabally have eliminated that issue. We tried again within the month and it was more enjoyable, and after about 10 times, it was very comfortable.
My mom was married to my dad, and we had to keep it on the down low. He worked at night so it wasn't that hard to do so.
I don't personally think our  interactions were cheating. My mom had a history of cheating on my dad and once we started, she didn't have an interest in cheating anymore. Gets me wondering how many people cheating would actually stop is they were with a family member. For years I dealt with guilt from society and my dad when he found out. But I've got to a place over the years of letting that go, and being on this forum for a year has really helped me with that.
I've never had an opportunity before this site  to give guys advice as to how they can be with their moms, lol I love it.
My hope is that society will relax with the family sex is ick. Things are coming around for the LGBTQ community getting more acceptance now, when all thru the past they were getting shade and hate. I think every adult should expierence love on whatever level works for them without society sticking their fist in it.

Are you the only child?
It seems your mom cheating on your dad probably because of sex drive differences?
How did your dad find out?  I imagine he was very upset?  Is that the reason you stopped?
Thanks.

I was the only child at that stage of life. She was older and all her birth children had grown up and moved out years before I was there.

She was in her early 60s and her sex drive was high, like maybe she was 30. I'm 49 today, ald lol I can't even come close to her drive now. (She passed away years ago)

Dad found out because one night we were going at it in the living room when when should have been in my bedroom andy moms noi

He wasn't pissed, but lectured her and me. It slowly faded after that. They were still married until his death, which was many years after that.

Olderson1991 wrote:

I was the only child at that stage of life. She was older and all her birth children had grown up and moved out years before I was there.

He wasn't pissed, but lectured her and me. It slowly faded after that. They were still married until his death, which was many years after that.

So was she your biological mother or step mother?

I"m a bit surprised he wasn't pissed. Is it possible that might be part of the reason the relationship faded away? Cause the "taboo" excitment was no more? Just wondering.

Thanks!

josephlin101 wrote:

Olderson1991 wrote:

I was the only child at that stage of life. She was older and all her birth children had grown up and moved out years before I was there.

He wasn't pissed, but lectured her and me. It slowly faded after that. They were still married until his death, which was many years after that.

So was she your biological mother or step mother?

I"m a bit surprised he wasn't pissed.  Is it possible that might be part of the reason the relationship faded away?  Cause the "taboo" excitment was no more?  Just wondering.

Thanks!

Adoptive mother. But her and her husband were a lot more like parents than my biological parents. My birth mom was a alcoholic and died when I was a kid. She was only interested in her alcohol, but I did see her naked often.

He watched her like a hawk after that so it because too hard to get away. I don't think the attraction was the taboo, although there was some excitement to that. We used to take vacations in the summer to family, just her and I but eventually he decided to come along and that put a cap on us having sex at family members homes, lol.

Olderson1991 wrote:

josephlin101 wrote:

Olderson1991 wrote:

I was the only child at that stage of life. She was older and all her birth children had grown up and moved out years before I was there.

He wasn't pissed, but lectured her and me. It slowly faded after that. They were still married until his death, which was many years after that.

So was she your biological mother or step mother?

I"m a bit surprised he wasn't pissed.  Is it possible that might be part of the reason the relationship faded away?  Cause the "taboo" excitment was no more?  Just wondering.

Thanks!

Adoptive mother. But her and her husband were a lot more like parents than my biological parents. My birth mom was a alcoholic and died when I was a kid. She was only interested in her alcohol, but I did see her naked often.

He watched her like a hawk after that so it because too hard to get away. I don't think the attraction was the taboo, although there was some excitement to that. We used to take vacations in the summer to family, just her and I but eventually he decided to come along and that put a cap on us having sex at family members homes, lol.

it's a little amusing reading this, because in a way he was a cockblocker towards your relationship (i mean this in a jokey way btw. sorry if it offends )

Goldencrow_260 wrote:

Olderson1991 wrote:

josephlin101 wrote:

Olderson1991 wrote:

I was the only child at that stage of life. She was older and all her birth children had grown up and moved out years before I was there.

He wasn't pissed, but lectured her and me. It slowly faded after that. They were still married until his death, which was many years after that.

So was she your biological mother or step mother?

I"m a bit surprised he wasn't pissed.  Is it possible that might be part of the reason the relationship faded away?  Cause the "taboo" excitment was no more?  Just wondering.

Thanks!

Adoptive mother. But her and her husband were a lot more like parents than my biological parents. My birth mom was a alcoholic and died when I was a kid. She was only interested in her alcohol, but I did see her naked often.

He watched her like a hawk after that so it because too hard to get away. I don't think the attraction was the taboo, although there was some excitement to that. We used to take vacations in the summer to family, just her and I but eventually he decided to come along and that put a cap on us having sex at family members homes, lol.

it's a little amusing reading this, because in a way he was a cockblocker towards your relationship (i mean this in a jokey way btw. sorry if it offends   )

Lol, no offense. It takes a lot to offend me.
Cock blocker, yes absolutely! He wasn't having sex w her and I think by that point she didn't want to have sex with him. She was probabally like hmmm sex with a 21yo or sex with a 70yo. I'm over simplifying. I'm sure her decades of cheating on him affected his desire for her, and she was a nurse and from my understanding typically selected doctors to cheat on, my dad fell short of the status of a doctor. Their marriage sucked and my dad should have just divorced her when he retired and lived out the rest of his life in peace without her drama. I don't have any I'll will for him, he was a good man, and I think I got some of my personality from him. He was very soft spoken, approachable, helpful. He really did get the short end of the stick in that marriage.

Olderson1991 wrote:

My birth mom was a alcoholic and died when I was a kid. She was only interested in her alcohol, but I did see her naked often.

I know how it feels to have an alcoholic mom.

Olderson1991 wrote:
I'm sure her decades of cheating on him affected his desire for her, and she was a nurse and from my understanding typically selected doctors to cheat on, my dad fell short of the status of a doctor.

Understood. He indeed sounds like a nice guy.

@Goldencrow_260
If you haven't already, I think you'll appreciate reading the forum's FAQ. It helps clarify some of the issues you've brought up.
https://ks2016.forumactif.fr/t182-the-kindred-spirits-faq

@ChrisDinner
thanks for the forum FAQ, yes i've read some of it but it will take some time since I'm a slow reader, however thanks for the information provided