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Altisse
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Posts : 1
Join date : 2020-11-14

intro: in love with my father Empty intro: in love with my father

on Sat 14 Nov 2020 - 23:19
Message reputation : 100% (3 votes)
Hello there! I'm Altisse, a 31 year-old European woman (won't go into more location-related details, for privacy's sake). I've been in love with my (biological) father since my early teenage years and those feelings have remained constant up to the present. For the longest while, I suppressed them and thought I might be aromantic asexual, because attempts at romantic and/or sexual relationships with other people always ended with "I'm not attracted to them, no matter how much I try to force myself."

It's only in the last few years that I've allowed myself to fully acknowledge the true depth of my feelings for my father. I dream of not only sharing a bed with him, but of going out on dates, of dancing barefoot on a beach, cuddling under the covers on a rainy day and all those other schmoopy, blatantly romantic things I scoffed at for so long (and, in truth, I find no personal value in them with anyone other than him, hence the reason I genuinely thought myself aromantic). My father doesn't know about my sexual and romantic attraction to him and I'm too afraid of potentially losing him to open up when it comes to this particular topic.

I'd love to be able to talk to other people in similar situations and find comfort in a like-minded community.

Jane Doe, FullMarriageEquality, Unowen17, Marcel20, Dag Robertson, likaself, Sean Kelly and Solarischaos like this post

Unowen17
Unowen17
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Posts : 4008
Join date : 2017-12-02
Age : 61
Location : North of Regular, south of Consang

intro: in love with my father Empty Re: intro: in love with my father

on Sun 15 Nov 2020 - 0:13
Hi, Altisse, welcome to Kindred Spirits. I’ve upgraded your account.

I think the chance of estranging your father is actually pretty low, if you approach him patiently and empathically. We can talk it over some more in the Non-GSA forum. There are some father-daughter couples around, but none in your exact situation. But we’ll do what we can for you.

Stay safe,
UN

_________________
Every now and then, an ally can say a few words, the right words, and change someone’s life for the better.

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Jane Doe
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Join date : 2016-04-14
Location : UK
https://consanguinamory.wordpress.com

intro: in love with my father Empty Re: intro: in love with my father

on Sun 15 Nov 2020 - 0:33
Message reputation : 100% (1 vote)
Welcome to KS. The feelings you're describing are actually very normal for people with a consanguinamorous orientation, so I can relate to what you're saying. There are many of us who are exclusively consang and while we might be capable of sex with others, we aren't capable of falling in love with them, it is friendship plus sex only. With relatives though, it is so different, we build upon the pre-existing familial relationship and become friends, lovers and family. I shared this bond with my dad, we're not together any more, but we were for a long time, and over the years I've been online I've spoken to a great many consangs who have had experiences and feelings similar to mine. So, you're in good company here, and we hear you. We can speak more in the non-GSA section Smile

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FullMarriageEquality
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http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com

intro: in love with my father Empty Re: intro: in love with my father

on Sun 15 Nov 2020 - 16:50
Welcome aboard! I second what UN and Jane wrote.

There are ways to delicately explore the possibilities with your father so as to not scare him. The odds that approaching him gently will hurt your relationship are extremely remote. Hopefully, we can help you so that whether he can reciprocate or not, you won’t be left regretting having never tried to find out.

As the others have said, we can discuss this further in the member areas.

_________________
I blog to support the right of all adults to share love, sex, residence, and marriage: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com

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Rick Fortune
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Posts : 196
Join date : 2016-11-18
Age : 55
Location : Wisconsin

intro: in love with my father Empty Re: intro: in love with my father

on Tue 17 Nov 2020 - 17:54
Altisse, I truly hope you get the opportunity to share your feelings with your father. I am with my mother and we live a life like the one you long for, and it is worth it! The speciality and intensity in a lovestyle like ours is not to be duplicated in any other relationship. Good luck to you, and dad. Rick

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